pretty bummed right now. had to take pooh kitty to the emergency vet tonight. she fell off the bed (i think she tried to jump but found her legs didn’t work), and when I went to see what happened, she couldn’t stand up, and kind of made a sad little circle on the floor.
they’re doing tests, she’ll be there overnight and the vet said it’s definitely neurological. so we’re just waiting. she’s 15 or so.
she first came to visit back in the fall of 94 when i was living in the yellow house on waddell street. she’d wander over whenever i was out on the back steps and trot up to me with that very engaged look she has with people, like she really would have a chat with you if she could. i finally started feeding her around christmas, b/c i stayed in athens that year, and noticed she didn’t seem to be interested in going “home” — wherever that was. plus that’s what you always want to do when you start to fall for a friendly creature that comes around — feed it. i let her inside and she thought the place, crappy as it was, was just fine, and started sleeping at the foot of my bed. it’s then that i realized she’d adopted me as her own and i was very happy.
i’d always called her the little pooh kitty, like pooh bear, and while emily pointed out that she probably had a very elegant name, pooh pooh kitty just stuck. she indeed has her daintiness, but sometimes can be rather clumsy and downright silly, too.
soon after she moved in (and killed and eaten a few birds right down to their feet), my friend carla said, “julie, that cat is pregnant, look at her belly, it’s round and hard.” and so she was.
the night pooh gave birth, i stayed up with her the whole time, from when her water broke (girls just know these things), till she’d pushed kitten no. 4 out of her very tired little body. it was an amazing thing to witness and i felt really empowered by her, and all the while i kept coaching her through it as best i could telling her to breathe and that she could do it. i mean, i just don’t think humans could give birth to a litter like that without any help at all. I guess they have and they used to, but still. when she began delivering the first kitten (which i’m pretty sure was jimmy), her scream sounded totally human. it spoke to the depth of pain she was enduring.
the kittens were a delight, of course — i named them out of the gate and even got their sexes right: jimmy, zooey, isabelle and sylvester. pooh was a wonderful mother. i’d never been able to watch an animal care for its young that way, licking their pee and poo until they were big enough to use the litter box, and feeding them incessantly.
jimmy loves her so — he’s the kitten who stayed. he’s easily three times her size, but he still thinks he’s her kitten and nuzzles up to her, asking to be licked on the head. she obliges, a little put out sometimes, but mostly she just seems content. i often walk into my bedroom to find him with one big paw draped around her. i always try to take pictures, but b/c they’re both black and white, it’s hard to see where one begins and the other ends.
so here i am, thinking about pooh, wondering if she’ll make it for another few years. it’s something, how we live with animal creatures, communicating with them so much even though we speak different languages, and sharing the sweetnesses in life, as simple and meaningful as a snuggle. we can’t ever really understand each other on the physical and mental level, but i think we connect in a deeper place together. and i don’t know, but i think it’s the only thing that explains god, really — that love and that kind of connectivity that exist between us all. it’s proof of an infinite, and in that infinite, a goodness that makes life worth living, despite the constant reminders of all the horrors in the world.
i know even if not now, i’ll have to let pooh go to that place in the infinite; and i know with just as much certainty that i’ll be connected to her when i go to that place, too.
for now, though, i’m just sad that our lives as we’ve known them together for 15 years are coming to an end.